Breastfeeding 2nd (or 3rd or 4th…) time around
You’ve breastfed your first baby. You’re expecting your second. Or third. Or fourth. (Although in this case you probably won’t be reading this post for so many reasons. If you are, please let me know! We would love to learn from you…)
How do you feel about it?
You may be looking forward to it as you’ve mastered it first time around and you’re hoping for an easier start.
You might be dreading it as you really struggled at times, and you fear this time might be a repeat performance.
You might just be a bit anxious and confused as you had ups and downs before and you’re not sure how this experience is going to compare.
You might not have breastfed your first because of circumstances and you wonder if you could give it a go this time.
Or any mixture of these. Or something completely different (please comment below)!
Over the past 10 years of breastfeeding my own two girls and working with hundreds of families, I have encountered many emotions and attitudes towards breastfeeding. This post is focusing on those who are NOT doing it first time around. We see you! This can be a particularly tricky situation and one that often gets forgotten or dismissed. You might feel like you need to appear confident as a second time mum, and you may not want to take away attention, support from those vulnerable first timers.
But you DO matter. No two babies are the same, even if they come from the same parents in the same family!
Some might find subsequent journeys easier indeed, others had a plain sailing first time around and struggle later.
Whatever your past, it pays to be prepared.
How are you preparing for your next journey? Have you had the chance to debrief from your previous one?
You will soon have a brand new baby in front of you. They are unique, with their unique personality, temperament, physiology and psychology. With their own rewards and challenges. With their own crazy quirks and individual talents.
If you’re carrying weight: guilt, grief, doubts, questions, confusion from your last journey(s), please consider looking for support with processing those feelings. This will, in turn, make mental and emotional space for what’s ahead of you. It’s going to be a big shift in terms of your time and attention, energy levels and mental load at the best of times. Try and give yourself a headstart in understanding what worked well first time around, what may have gone wrong and what could have made a difference.
There are some really helpful resources online and in book form, as well as paid support, to get on top of all this.
A couple of examples here:
- https://www.lllgbbooks.co.uk/store/p76/BreastfeedingTakeTwo.html
- https://www.pinterandmartin.com/why-breastfeeding-grief-and-trauma-matter
Other aspects of this topic are: parenting a family with one extra child (or more if you’re expecting multiples) and practical considerations when it comes to tandem feeding if that’s what you are choosing to do. These will take an entire new post to tackle, so watch this space.
I’d love to hear your experiences below if this is already behind you. Let’s help each other!
You can also book an antenatal consultation with me to prepare you for your first OR subsequent breast/chestfeeding journey. See under my ‘Services’ or contact me directly should you wish to know more. This consultation will be completely tailored to your needs after you give me details of your personal history.
